All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have already put on my inside pants.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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