You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize