i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am one with the molecules
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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