Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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