hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
