The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Still dying that you shit outside
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize