Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it's like iHOP with fire
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
