Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
