Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
