I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
