I can't breathe out the right side of my face
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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