it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
