The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
