allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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