he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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