oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
