An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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