i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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