ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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