why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
