Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
