Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
