I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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