It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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