i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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