...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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