there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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