Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
