My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
