I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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