Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
