nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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