there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize