um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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