After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
