I'm really into asian looking animals
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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