Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Duck Duck Cougar?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
