You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
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