Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
