Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize