Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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