watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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