I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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