I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize