Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
