U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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