Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
