Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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