i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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