can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
