great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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