She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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