doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
vagina is talking i cant
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
