i was rollin on her like bob the builder
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
