so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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