You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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