Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
