Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
