I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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