And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere