Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There r osticjed everywhere
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
