Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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