Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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