In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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