I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
